I recently saw Into Great Silence, a movie about the Carthusians. The movies attempts to capture the silence and sensibility of the life practiced by the monks. Occasionally a printed statement will flash onto the screen, and repeated throughout the movie. The statement that captured me was "You have seduced me, Oh Lord, and I have been seduced".
Although not a Carthusian monk, God has seduced me and I have been seduced. During this Holy Week, I have been reflecting on what that means. God has seduced me--drawn me into God's love; pulled me into an interior life centered on the presence of God in prayer. I have been seduced by God to shift my center of gravity from the concerns of the culture around me to the concerns of God.
As a result of God's seduction, I am seduced into a radically different life from that shaped by white middle class values. I am besotted with the one who is besotted with me, and my life is shaped by that crazy, upside down gospel-culture known as the realm of God. All of which puts me in a precarious position vis a vis the culture that surrounds me.
You have seduced me, O Lord
and I have been seduced.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Lent
Another year, another Lent. Some people talk about "giving up" something for Lent--like candy or cussing. Other people talk about giving up something AND taking on something--like a daily devotional or a weekly fast. I've done both. There is no magic formula. Lent is simply a time to prepare for the crucifixion and resurrection of the one in whose footsteps we follow.
Part of my spiritual practice is to make a confession before Ash Wednesday, to my spiritual director who is also my confessor. This year he said that I need to do something to prepare for Holy Week and Easter, and that it would occur to me--the thing I need to do. As usual, I forgot all about it (I flunk the holiness test on a daily basis!). A couple of days later I was hiking in the coastal hills close to my house, stewing over some injustice in my life and struggling to even WANT to forgive the people involved. I mean, I didn't even want to forgive them!! (like I said, about the holiness thing....). That is when God touched my heart (which always makes it melt) and I realized that what I need to "take on" for Lent is the practice of forgiveness. Whenever it is really God "talking", God makes it happen even as God speaks. That is one way I know it is God speaking.
Of course, my heart hardens again later, and I am into a struggle again. But for the moment I could actually forgive the injustice I was stewing about. And that experience, and the committment to practice forgiveness for Lent, has freed me from some of my more onerous ruminations.
God is such an outstanding Lover!
Part of my spiritual practice is to make a confession before Ash Wednesday, to my spiritual director who is also my confessor. This year he said that I need to do something to prepare for Holy Week and Easter, and that it would occur to me--the thing I need to do. As usual, I forgot all about it (I flunk the holiness test on a daily basis!). A couple of days later I was hiking in the coastal hills close to my house, stewing over some injustice in my life and struggling to even WANT to forgive the people involved. I mean, I didn't even want to forgive them!! (like I said, about the holiness thing....). That is when God touched my heart (which always makes it melt) and I realized that what I need to "take on" for Lent is the practice of forgiveness. Whenever it is really God "talking", God makes it happen even as God speaks. That is one way I know it is God speaking.
Of course, my heart hardens again later, and I am into a struggle again. But for the moment I could actually forgive the injustice I was stewing about. And that experience, and the committment to practice forgiveness for Lent, has freed me from some of my more onerous ruminations.
God is such an outstanding Lover!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
My Standing Date with God
Every day, I spend a few minutes in the evening talking over the day with my partner. Every Saturday we go out for breakfast--just the two of us. We spend other times together, but these are "standing dates". These standing dates create the backbone of our 25 year relationship.
I have a standing date with God as well. Every morning and every evening I say the daily office and spend some time in contemplative prayer. Some days it is quick, others I can spend more time. Like my standing dates with my honey, my standing dates with God provides the backbone of my relationship with God.
Sometimes I am eager to run to my date with God. Other times it is a chore. Sometimes it is routine and I have to repeatedly re-focus my mind on what I am doing. For the last few months, I have found myself looking forward to these times, fleeing to them as a haven. I am in one of those periods in which God is pulling me into deeper and deeper contemplation. I respond with increased attention and committment. I find a profound peace in my dates with God these days.
However, there are other times when my dates are dry, or boring, or ho hum and I "couldn't get a fire going no matter how many times I re-arrange the logs" to quote Teresa of Avila. Those times make me all the more grateful for prayer that I am currently experiencing: deeply intoxicating and profoundly peaceful
I have a standing date with God as well. Every morning and every evening I say the daily office and spend some time in contemplative prayer. Some days it is quick, others I can spend more time. Like my standing dates with my honey, my standing dates with God provides the backbone of my relationship with God.
Sometimes I am eager to run to my date with God. Other times it is a chore. Sometimes it is routine and I have to repeatedly re-focus my mind on what I am doing. For the last few months, I have found myself looking forward to these times, fleeing to them as a haven. I am in one of those periods in which God is pulling me into deeper and deeper contemplation. I respond with increased attention and committment. I find a profound peace in my dates with God these days.
However, there are other times when my dates are dry, or boring, or ho hum and I "couldn't get a fire going no matter how many times I re-arrange the logs" to quote Teresa of Avila. Those times make me all the more grateful for prayer that I am currently experiencing: deeply intoxicating and profoundly peaceful
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